well, this is not the daily blog that i had originally envisioned, but it is something. SO SUE ME!

work has been very busy with sales continuing to climb. i approached the big bosses about moving into management, after a co-worker got moved up. they seem very receptive and i want to pursue it. they do work hard, but they also make great money.

the man continues to be amazing. he is the most romantic man i have ever dated. he brought me a rose last week when he arrived. we were supposed to go to a party, but i suggested that we just remain a deux and he agreed. i think about him throughout my day, wishing we could spend more time together. he calls me the sweetest things and it totally melts my heart. we are getting together tomorrow night at his house (we have agreed that whoever has the day off the next day will be the one to travel to the other's house; that way neither of us has to drive home and then get up the next morning.) and i can't wait! i am starting to get really caught up in this... 8^)

had a sad exchange of emails with a former friend in chicago this past week. after 25 years of friendship, it is very difficult to watch this one slip away. he has made some very clear choices to exclude me from his life and it was painful to let this all go. however, the relocation to ohio has made it easier to move on and not just sit and pine over this change. the hardest part has been knowing that some of these choices he made will probably be at least somewhat self-destructive.

my parents arrive for the holiday this afternoon, so the next week will be a busy time. between seeing them, seeing the man, work and a couple of other parties i am going to, i feel like i am fully engaged here in ohio. certainly my schedule says so!

for t-day, i am in charge of the turkey. i will make a cornbread and giblet stuffing for inside the bird and a dish of whitebread, church basement stuffing for the less adventurous. i have already put my mother on notice that she will be in charge of the gravy, for which i am making a double stock and extra fond and rendered fat. i'll cook this here and then take the whole arrangement out to my sister's later in the day. i am also making a pie (from richard sax) with apple, pear, asian apple-pear, raisins, figs, dates, prunes, orange, brandy and spices. almost no one else is looking forward to it but me.

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finally a day off from work! it has been incredibly hectic this past weekend. we have been shattering daily and weekly sales records and still keeping the vast majority of the customers happy. it's a challenge, albeit a very rewarding one so far. i like and respect most of the people i work with, which helps enormously. as usual, i resent those folks that are working alongside me at half my pace, but for the same rate of pay. some days i wish i could just slow down to their speed and not care about my performance. unfortunately--or fortunately--it's not in my genetic makeup. responsibility: it's a blessing, it's a curse!

the man spent the evening here yesterday. he is incredibly tender and sweet and handsome and sexy. he says all the right things. being with him is easy and relaxed and feels really SAFE. i don't believe there is a mean bone in his body. i have known him for less than three weeks, so how well can i know him? but all of the aforementioned things are true and i'm willing to go forward with that for now. i am willing to take that chance in my life again, after years of being so emotionally closed that it was impossible to let anyone in.

i baked this morning. richard sax's gubana from friuli in italy ( a yeasted, coiled, sweet bread with a nut and raisin filling), m.f.k. fisher's ginger hottendots (gingersnaps--which led me to think of making a sauerbraten nach hausfrauen art), checkerboards and palmiers. the last of these was the end of my homemade puffpaste, so i'll have to make another batch of that before the holidays kick in. i really want to try several comparison batches with different butters (cabot, plugra, president) and see if i can tell the difference. it's always a good day when i bake. i find it immensely satisfying and relaxing to spend the hours with the mixer and the oven...and then when i'm done: baked goods!

now i'm off for a cocktail with a fellow from work. since we are both on the early schedule, he has no problem starting our evening at 4.30. this way i can be home at a reasonable hour and still be up for my sister in the morning. she's coming for breakfast...

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the MEANING OF LIFE is not something waiting to be discovered.

RATHER, it's a series of decisions to be made, and chances are you've already made many of them.

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i wish i knew the source of this quote. it has been an inspiration to me over the last year as i have made what i felt to be some pretty momentous decisions. i realize that the circumstances that have allowed me to make these particular choices were created by past actions. i have been the author of my life and written the script in a certain way. i feel good about it, for the most part.

there are things i regret, such as leaving certain friends behind when i moved. but i will keep the ones that really matter and treasure the memories of the ones that were more fleeting. i am still friends with several folks from my late teens and early twenties--some as long as 25 years now--and they are spread far and wide across the country. those that count won't go away.

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the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in the last couple days and the snow has started. i guess i shouldn't be too surprised...this is cleveland in november after all. the people at work that transferred here from california are freaking out in a big way. i guess the head office lied to them about the whole "weather" thing.

i feel quite ready for winter. i have south facing windows and plenty of heat. the saturngets to be tucked away in a heated garage all night, so it will start easily and warm up quickly. i have a new coat, hat and boots. and i have the beginnings of a boyfriend/relationship/something-or-other to help keep my toes warm ;^) i think my work is gonna be cold, but i have lots of layers to pile on and i'll just keep moving!

i've been here 2.5 months now and i am liking it. i am making friends; i have a job i like alot; my apartment is coming together; i am building friendships with my nieces; i'm settling in. now if we could just get a democrat elected to the white house next year....!

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alright now nobody make fun of me here, okay? yeah right--like that isn't gonna happen.

i've been reading a blog or two for awhile now and it seemed time to start one of my own. send me feedback and let me know what you are thinking....

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