20031118

finally a day off from work! it has been incredibly hectic this past weekend. we have been shattering daily and weekly sales records and still keeping the vast majority of the customers happy. it's a challenge, albeit a very rewarding one so far. i like and respect most of the people i work with, which helps enormously. as usual, i resent those folks that are working alongside me at half my pace, but for the same rate of pay. some days i wish i could just slow down to their speed and not care about my performance. unfortunately--or fortunately--it's not in my genetic makeup. responsibility: it's a blessing, it's a curse!

the man spent the evening here yesterday. he is incredibly tender and sweet and handsome and sexy. he says all the right things. being with him is easy and relaxed and feels really SAFE. i don't believe there is a mean bone in his body. i have known him for less than three weeks, so how well can i know him? but all of the aforementioned things are true and i'm willing to go forward with that for now. i am willing to take that chance in my life again, after years of being so emotionally closed that it was impossible to let anyone in.

i baked this morning. richard sax's gubana from friuli in italy ( a yeasted, coiled, sweet bread with a nut and raisin filling), m.f.k. fisher's ginger hottendots (gingersnaps--which led me to think of making a sauerbraten nach hausfrauen art), checkerboards and palmiers. the last of these was the end of my homemade puffpaste, so i'll have to make another batch of that before the holidays kick in. i really want to try several comparison batches with different butters (cabot, plugra, president) and see if i can tell the difference. it's always a good day when i bake. i find it immensely satisfying and relaxing to spend the hours with the mixer and the oven...and then when i'm done: baked goods!

now i'm off for a cocktail with a fellow from work. since we are both on the early schedule, he has no problem starting our evening at 4.30. this way i can be home at a reasonable hour and still be up for my sister in the morning. she's coming for breakfast...
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